And that makes two...
I'm hungry. I'm tired of being poor. I gathered up spare change and ate from the vending machines today. Thank god for vending machines in the apartment building. I had enough change for an apple bear claw, potato skins, and nutty bars. A satisfying meal...
I have less than $20 in my checking account. That means I can't even go to an ATM (as the minimum withdrawal amount is $20). I have no cash. My next paycheck will all be gone within a few days (bills and more bills). There is no hope of food purchases in my near future. I hate being broke. I
HATE it. I hate borrowing money from my parents. I have been dependent on them for rent and health insurance payments and car payments and student loan payments and bus passes and everything else. And that's plenty for me. I can't ask for more for groceries. My pride would prefer to go without.
I'm not in the best of moods right now. I just sent a rather defensive and accusatory email off to the boy. I received a rather disrespectful one from him earlier today and decided to write back before I calmed down.
I'm tired of "calming down first". Scew him. This is essentially done with now. I am tired. I don't want this back and forth crap anymore. Why can't people just be honest? Why can't they just say "Hey Sarah, I'm not interested in you that way. We will never be anything more. I like sleeping with you and I hope that we can continue to do that, but I don't want to include you in my life in any real way. I don't want to hurt your feelings so I'm writing these bullshit emails to you to try to lessen my guilt. And also, I find it perfectly acceptable to act like a jealous possessive freak even though I have absolutely no claim on you whatsoever." Is that so hard? Apparently...
*Sarah*
