Paperback Cheese Novel
Dripping with melted cheeses...

if i were a....

a collection of online tests

Which Izzard Are You?

Kid Izzard: You still find a way to look at life in an innocent way, even though those around you marvel at your naive opinions. But the world wasn't made just for the grown-ups around you, so dodge your subway fare and get the most out of life!

I am the Coquette

The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction - while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward - the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power - all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them more. Imitate the alternating heat and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your heels.

Symbol: The Shadow. It cannot be grasped. Chase your shadow and it will flee; turn your back on it and it will follow you. It is also a person's dark side, the thing that makes them mysterious. After they have given us pleasure, the shadow of withdrawl makes us yearn for their return, much as clouds make us yearn for the sun.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

i am

what sexual performer are you?
you like sex. in a way you think there's more to it than merely breeding and propagating, you add romance to it. you like to have relationships, no matter how they end. you lead quite a life beyond drinking latte and hating your work. you have fun with friends, read and watch films quite a lot. you have no intention of being single for life and you find careers out of an endless string of deadend jobs.

you like to give and receive pleasure and you do it quite well. you are quite intimate with partners. sex is always satisfying.

oral sex? you definitely know how to give one.

sexual positions? you acquired some from here and there.

Okay, so I'm not exactly a virgin, but if I were...
What Kind of Virgin Are You?

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you are vamp willow

You are Vampire Willow. You are the gothy playful type that likes pain and pleasure as if they were the same thing. The advantage is that you have the ability to draw every eye wherever you go, the bad part is that you're evil, skanky and kinda gay. But you go with your bad self.

Wanna see which Willow you are? Take the test!

What actress are you?

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You're Audrey Hepburn...and classy is your middle name. You're an angel and you never think about yourself but what you can do for others...loverly!

Which fairy are you?

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Who's your greasy-haired manbitch?

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Which Rocky character are you?

If I were a Springer-Verlag Graduate Text in Mathematics, I would be Bela Bollobas's Modern Graph Theory.

I am an in-depth account of graph theory, written with the student in mind; I reflect the current state of the subject and emphasize connections with other branches of pure mathematics. Recognizing that graph theory is one of several courses competing for the attention of a student, I contain extensive descriptive passages designed to convey the flavor of the subject and to arouse interest.

Which Springer GTM would you be? The Springer GTM Test

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Take the Radiohead Collective Member Test.

What Porn Starlet are you? Take the quiz @

What is your meaning of life?

When the term "slacker" was coined, they must have had Trent in mind. Trent spends most of his time playing guitar in, and writing songs for, his band.

Which David Bowie are you?


I'm the pink Doc Marten...
I'm sassy and always in touch
with my feminine side

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*

[If I were an online test, I would be The James Bond Villain Personality Test]

I'm The James Bond Villain Personality Test!

I live in a fictional world of spies and blonde women with ridiculous names, and I like to give people plenty of options. Although whether they're villainous is not optional.

Click here to find out which test you are!

Which Rock Chick Are You?

Which Winona Are You?

I am most like


as dirty as they come. As much as I love StileProject, I must admit, it's pretty

much the underarm of the internet.

When you're not watching porn you can be found flipping through coroner's


Does the word "Japscat" ring a bell?

The Obscure Website Test

Take the Affliction Test Today!

Congratulations, you're rabies!

Transmitted by rabid animals, you're most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don't worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.

Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation - that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!

Disney Princesses
Which of the Disney Princesses are you?

take free enneagram test

Wowie! You are Lumos! You're a lot of fun and pretty damn cool, and you do things your own way. You may often be in a fantasy world, but that's just fine with you! Most likely you're also a big Harry Potter fan (who isn't, right?).

Which Evil Criminal are You?

What Psych-Ward do you belong to?/

I am the Queen of Hearts!

You're a tyrant. You like to boss people around for any reason you like, and you're damn good at it. It may be because people are scared to Hell by you, because it certainly isn't because of your charisma (or lack thereof). Cheer up! The world's full of weakling paintywaists who'll grovel for you for the rest of his life.

Strawberry: 0/100 Pear: 40/100 Banana: 60/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 15/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen and Aaron!

So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh?

What Flavour Are You? I am Chocolate Flavoured.I am Chocolate Flavoured.

I am sweet and a little bit naughty. I am one of the few clinically proven aphrodisiacs. Sometimes I can seem a little hard, but show warmth and I soon melt. What Flavour Are You?

are you serious? of all things... i HATE chocolate....bah.

What is YOUR Highschool label?

got this from lexy...hehe

"You and Daniel Johns are a match made in heaven! You're both highly creative and when you're making music you like to experiment with different ideas and sounds. You are both big animal lovers and would love nothing more than to live in a house with lots of different types of pets running around!"

"You were Adalita Srsen in a past life! Music is in your blood and you love nothing more than to be onstage in a small club with an appreciative crowd pumping out music in true punk-rock style. You love supporting causes you feel strongly about, which reflects in your songwriting. You also have a huge soft spot for our furry friends!"

have i been naughty or nice?

Sarah P

Nice, but has naughty lapses. High marks in the good deeds department. Better than average manners. Hopefully, thoughtfulness will continue to be as good as last month. Neatness needs improvement!

wahoo! i made the "super nice" list :)

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