Undecided, as always...
After calling every day this week (sometimes more than once), my friend Jaime resurfaced...kind of. She called this evening, came down to my floor, stood in my kitchen, broke down in tears, and left with no explanation. I don't know what's going on. She looked absolutely horrible. Dark sunken eyes, red splotchy skin, etc. Very un-Jaime. She said she was hanging by a thread and had to go.
I'm worried, but I don't know what to do. She gets kind of crazy sometimes. She disappears, she retreats, she goes on binges, she gets manic, she gets depressed, and then she's back.
I had a semi-productive day today (unlike the last two). I woke up, took Nate to work, met David for brunch, and then went to Julie's house.
While there, a rather interesting subject came up: my decision-making. She actually wrote about it here, but to sum up...
I make almost all of my decisions based on two criteria. Simply put: "Does it really suck?" or "Does it not really suck?". And as she says, "This decision making process works for job offers, relationships, and clothing choices, to name a few", and...it does.
I don't know if I ever pick something I really want. It's often the lesser of two (or several) evils. It seems very negative... As though I think everything sucks and I just choose that which doesn't really suck. Odd...
Speaking of decisions, I feel the impending decision-making need regarding Boy #1 creeping up on me. Did that make sense? Eh...whatever. But yes, I need to make some kind of decision about him, and probably sometime soon. Simply put, it's been going on too long. Casual sex is alright for awhile, but I think when the year mark is way in the past, it's time to re-evaluate and either fish or cut bait. Shit or get off the pot. *insert more metaphors here* Basically, quit fucking around. To quote the king, "A little less conversation, a little more action". :)
I suppose the decision will have to be put off until I figure out what I want though. As usual, my vote is undecided. As it is about what I want to do with my life, about most political issues, about people, things, places, activities, ideas, etc. As it is about almost everything else.
Yeah, okay, who am I kidding? I probably won't be making a decision about him (or anything else) anytime soon.
(Right now he's in sway between really sucking and not really sucking)
*Sarah*
