It could have been a brilliant career

Something about Fall rips me up inside. The way the light hits is almost suffocating.

I'm tired. I feel melodramatic. I feel sad. And I don't know how to get it out. I don't know what to do.

I came close to a panic attack yesterday. I didn't think I was going to be alright.

David and I went out. We had dinner, went for coffee, shopped for CDs, visited Jacob, walked around the lake, sat in the sand and smoked cigarettes, and went home. I felt better.

I've decided that I hate all of those people who ever told me that I was going to do great things with my life. What did they know? I resent every speculation about the important and wonderful things that I would do in my brilliant future. I am nothing. I proved them wrong.

*Sarah*