why i don't get asked to babysit

sophomore year in college, my roommate betsy and i went to a festival. we camped out in this park, did a lot of drugs, drank a lot of alcohol, and listened to a bunch of crappy jam bands.

the afternoon of the second day of the festival, i was down by the porta-potties, and ended up in one without a working latch on the door. some little boy kept trying to open the door while i was in there. i waited until he got close and as soon as i saw his grimy little hands reach for the door, i kicked it as hard as i could and sent his little body flying backwards into the mud.

later that night, i grabbed another kid by the shirt and held a flashlight in his eyes until he cried.

i'm not good with kids.

i don't know what my problem is. i just can't stand them. i have no patience for them. they make me uncomfortable. they annoy me. when walking in a mall, or other place where there is an abundance of children running around, i never wait for them to get out of the way...if they fall into my path, i'll walk right into them.

i'm sure you're thinking "what a horrible person!!!", as you reel back in horror :). whatever, everyone hates something. i just hate something most people find endearing. so sue me.

*sarah*