Nothing ventured, nothing gained
I wrote a LONG confessional email to the boy. After finally realizing how much I do like him, I decided to just come clean, lay all my cards on the table, and see what happens.
It's so silly that it's taken me this long to figure it out. And it's been interesting to me to see that sometimes your friends know you so much better than you know yourself. Christy said she'd been waiting to hear me say that, knowing that I wouldn't invest that much energy and time into someone I really didn't care about. Julie knew long before I ever did that I really did care about him. I suspect that David was well aware too. Someone should have told me! :P
I've realized that I have allowed myself to become paralyzed by fear. Not just in regards to him, but as a general rule in my life. I am so afraid of the unknown and uncertainty that I have completely stopped taking risks. I am petrified of sticking my neck out. And this is not good. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I have stopped growing, and I have stopped moving forward with my life because of this.
So, doing this was the first step in breaking that pattern. And whatever the outcome, it felt good to do it. It was a step I needed to take.
Now the waiting game begins. I really don't know what his response will be. I just hope it doesn't take too long :).
*Sarah*
