A kind of reprieve

Things are starting to calm down inside of my head. There is still a lot that I don't understand and many things unresolved in the mess that passes for my life, but I am okay.

I hit bottom last week. Hitting bottom included seeing the bottom of a bottle of wine, smoking in bed and crying uncontrollably for hours. I was lucky to have Rusty to help me through.

Thanksgiving came and went and was mostly uneventful. I hid upstairs in the office (formerly my bedroom) and slept while 16 relatives chatted downstairs and then went down, ate, and talked with people.

My uncle made me a fantastic mixed CD with pictures of Audrey Hepburn on the cover to cheer me up. I stayed up late last night talking to my mom and decided to just let go of the fight I had with my dad last week.

I came up this morning for a funeral and am now back at home after having worked for a few hours and paid a visit to my pyschologist. Maybe it's the first snow falling outside my window, or maybe it's having realized that things couldn't really get worse, but I feel calmer. Things are going to be okay, somehow.

*Sarah*