The men of my future

I feel so empty right now. Painfully empty. I don't really know what else to say. I was out almost all day with Ruthie and Alex. After a stop at home, we reconvened at a trendy drink spot with a bunch of other people but I just couldn't relax and enjoy myself. I made an excuse and went home.

Being home didn't help. I tried to call Julie and Christy but neither was home or answering their phones. I don't even know what I would have said though.

I felt good in the car. I just wanted to drive and drive and never stop driving. I don't know what it is about being on the road that soothes me. I guess that weight I feel on my mind is lifted slightly when I'm quietly driving along darkened streets alone with my thoughts.

I had a 3 and 1/2 hour interview yesterday. I think it went really well. They called today to tell me that I was in the top 3 and that I would know something by Monday if not earlier. I felt good, I felt hopeful. It's funny how 15 minutes of discussion with my mother can just take the wind out of just about anything. I love her. She is my mother. I know that she means well but no one can diminish my accomplishments like she can.

I met a really great man today. He is intelligent, witty, accomplished, successful, and almost 20 years older than me. We talked about our mutual love of Buffy, the hypocrisy of America's sex-driven marketing versus its outcry against nudity, the politics of war, and relationships. We both prefer staying home with a movie to the bar scene. He's a dog person. He's a gentleman, yet not uptight in any way. To quote Sex and the City, I feel as though "I have outgrown the men of my past but not yet grown into the men of my future." I understood what that meant today. This man was everything I want in about 10-15 more years.

It was a tiring week. I just want to curl up in bed and retreat until I find out about this job.

*Sarah*